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It Could Only Happen To Me

I hope you’re ready to laugh.

Yesterday afternoon, I fell into my house. As per my normal craziness, I had four grocery bags on each arm, my purse in my left hand, and my bookbag in my right. I unlocked the door, opened it, and tried to step inside, but my right foot was unable to move.

If you’ve ever taken a spill, you know the feeling that prevails right before you tumble. No-no-no-please-don’t-fall-I’m-falling-please-don’t-let-me-break-anything-oomph. I fell into my house and landed on my right hip.

Peggy_Webber_screamingOther than my scream, there were no other sounds, sounds I would’ve gladly endured, like “Mom! Are you okay?” or even the laughter of my husband. I was in a tangled heap on the floor, and tried to extricate my foot from whatever was holding it captive, but it still wouldn’t budge. At least I hadn’t had a stroke, because my right hand could still wiggle–the same right hand that was pinned beneath me.

I tried to untangle myself from my awkward position, livid that I couldn’t get my foot to cooperate. I couldn’t even see what was hindering it since I was surrounded by all manner of groceries blocking my view. With my left arm, I reached down to take off my shoe, but couldn’t reach it.

Since I couldn’t stand, couldn’t extract my foot, and was thoroughly ticked off, I decided it was time for a 10 second nap. is (2)I just laid there. The cat walked by and meowed, as if to say, “Hey, Stupid.”

I finally disentangled myself from my purse, bookbag, and groceries, then reached down and removed my shoe. How had I fallen, you wonder? The head of a nail was visible at the bottom of the threshold. That blasted nail jumped up and grabbed my shoelace at the mid-tongue section of my sneaker!!!

Thankfully I didn’t break anything, but today my hips feel like I’ve been imitating Elvis. I can barely walk!

I’m so grateful a merry heart is like medicine… Because I could use some! ♦

~ Jericha Kingston

 
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Posted by on November 18, 2016 in Humor, Jericha Kingston, Writing

 

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Posted by on September 30, 2016 in Humor, Kara Hunt

 

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Posted by on August 19, 2016 in Humor, Kara Hunt

 

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Posted by on August 5, 2016 in Humor, Kara Hunt

 

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